 |
|
|
JOKES
PAGES
IF YOU
HAVE A JOKE SEND IT TO ME
Mike@cornish45.freeserve.co.uk
Blonde Jokes
 |
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: How do blonde
braincells die ?
A: Alone.
Q: What do you call it
when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A:
Artificial intelligence.
Q: Why do blondes wash
their hair in the sink?
A:
Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
Q: Why didn't the
blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd
just dyed her hair.
Q: Why didn't the
blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd
just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too
much.
Q: Why do blondes wear
their hair up?
A: To
catch as much as they can that is over their heads.
Q: Why is it good to
have a blonde passenger?
A: You can
park in the handicap zone.
Q: Why is a blonde like
a turtle?
A: They
both get screwed up when they're on their back.
Q: How do you make a
blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a
flashlight in their ear.
Q: Why should blondes
not be given coffee breaks?
A: It
takes too long to retrain them.
Q: How can you tell if
a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's
white-out on the screen.
Q: What's the
difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You
only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: What do a blonde and
your computer have in common?
A: You
don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down
on you.
Q: What did the blonde
think of the new computer?
A: She
didn't like it 'cos she couldn't get channel 5....
Q: Why do blondes wear
shoulder pads?
A: (With a
rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!
Q: How do you kill a
blonde?
A: Put
spikes in their shoulder pads.
Q: How do blondes
pierce their ears?
A: They
put tacks in their shoulder pads.
Q: Why don't blondes
eat powdered jelly?
A: They
can't figure out how to get two cups of water into
those little packages.
Q: What do you call a
blonde with a fiver on the top of their head?
A: All you
can eat, under a five pounds.
Q: Why don't blondes
eat pickles?
A: Because
they can't get their head in the jar.
Q: Why don't blondes
eat bananas?
A: They
can't find the zipper.
Q: Why do blondes wear
hoop earings?
A: They
have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Q: What does a blonde
put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her
ankles.
Q: Why do blondes wear
green lipstick?
A: Because
red means stop.
Q: How can you tell if
a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
A: By the
lipstick on your cucumbers.
Q: Why don't blondes
use vibrators?
A: They chip their teeth.
Q: Why do blondes wear
underwear?
A: They
make good ankle warmers.
Q: What do blondes do
for foreplay?
A: Remove
their underwear.
Q: What's the mating
call of the blonde?
A:
"I'm *sooo* drunk!"
Q: What is the mating
call of the ugly blonde?
A:
(Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"
Q: What's the mating
call of the brunette?
A:
"All the blondes have gone home!"
Q: What's the mating
call of the redhead?
A:
"Next!"
Q: What do you say to a
Blonde that won't give in?
A:
"Have another beer."
Q: What do blondes do
with their arseholes in the morning ?
A: Pack
their lunch and send them to work.
Q: What's the first
thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1:
Introduces themself.
A2: Walks home.
Q: How does a blonde
like her eggs?
A:
Unfertilised.
Q: What's the first
thing a blonde does after sex?
A: Opens
the car door.
Q: How do blondes turn
the light on after sex ?
A: Kick
open the car door.
Q: Why do blondes like
tilt steering?
A: More
head room.
Q: Why do blondes drive
cars with sunroofs?
A: More
leg room.
Q: What is the worst
thing about sex with a blond?
A: Bucket
seats.
Q: What do Blondes say
after sex?
A1: Thanks
Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Swans?
Q: What important
question does a blonde ask his/her mate before having sex?
A: Do you
want this by the hour, or the flat rate?
Q: Why do blonde girls
have trouble achieving orgasm?
A: *Who
cares?*
Q: Why do blonds have
orgasms ?
A: So they
know when to stop having sex !
Q: How do you tell when
a blonde reaches orgasm????
A1: She
drops her nail-file!!!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She say 'Next'
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder
A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes
A6: The batteries have run out.
Q: What does a blonde
say when you blow in their ear?
A:
"Thanks for the refill!"
Q: What is it called
when a blonde blows in another blond's ear?
A: Data
transfer.
Q: Why do blondes have
more fun?
A: Because
they don't know any better.
Q: How many blondes
does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1:
"What's a lightbulb?"
A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call,
"Daaady!"
A4: None. They can't fit.
Q: What's a blonde's
favourite wine?
A:
"Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!"
Q: What is the
difference between a blond and a 747?
A: Not
everyone has been in a 747
Q: What does a dumb
blonde say when she gives birth?
A: Gee,
Are you sure it's mine?
Q: What did the blonde
say when she found out she was pregnant?
A:
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Q: How do you get a
blonde to marry you?
A: Tell
her she's pregnant.
Q: What will she ask
you?
A:
"Is it mine?"
Q: Santa Claus, the
Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down
the street when they spot a £10 bill. Who picks it up?
A: The
dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the
tooth fairy, or a smartblonde.
Q: Why did the blonde
scale the glass wall?
A: To see
what was on the other side.